Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently you make a good broom.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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