Whod you bang
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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