That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
