His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
then he tried to convert me to islam
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
