I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize