weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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