she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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