I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
