i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
