last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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