So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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