this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
