Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
