1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm really into asian looking animals
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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