I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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