what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
