if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
