Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
