There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
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still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
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I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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