At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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