i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
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btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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