I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
