he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
