we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
