Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
