I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
