Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
