Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
