these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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