If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
