Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
