Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize