UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
