she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
