i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
