"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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