google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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