Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
