I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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