i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
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a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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