so explain again why im purple
no
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
