I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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