was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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