if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
