she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
