i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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