I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
