My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize