when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
