I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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