Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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