please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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