your parents love me but you hate me
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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