I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
