Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
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