I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
