Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
40s are totally the cure
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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