My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
