Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
