Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
